Home is where the heart is...

I'm drinking my Apple Cider from my brand new mug (from Goodwill. I got 2 for $.98..awesome deal)

It's a lovely night for apple cider, but a better night for family- whom I'm missing a whole lot tonight.

I gave my house a call tonight just to talk to my parents.  Dad answered, and seemed very preoccupied but didn't mention that the rest of the family was there, eating dinner.  So I talked to Mom instead.  When I found out that Andrew, Lee, Becky, Patrick, Mom, Dad and probably Tiggs were there, I started crying.
For the last 6 months, every time something has gone on in Spartanburg, I haven't been able to be there. And I really hate it.  I'm so busy here at school, I just cant drive home (as much as I want to).

Patrick came home a few days ago for two weeks before leaving for Fort Hood in TX.  And, you know what's unfortunate?? I won't be able to see him at all.  And it's not that I actually want to see my brother, we've never been the best of friends.  But, my entire family's there, and I'm not.  And I hate that.

I realize that in a few years, I'm not going to be able to just drive home and be with my family.  I realize that in a few years, I'll be thousands of miles away and will probably not be able to see any of my family for most of that time.  I'll be ready for that .. in a few years.. Right now, I still need my family.  Things are still changing and transforming.  We are not even close to a time of "settling down" & I'm missing the changes.

I hate this.  I want to see my family.

out with the old..in with the new.

I have a tumblr.  And I've never been much for blogging so I guess I can't judge between the two.  But, the reason I got a tumblr in the first place was to stalk this girl who blogged from a farm in NC.  She seems to have the life I want- peaceful, calm, farm living with a dog and a boyfriend.  Any who, somehow I s"tumbled" (punny) upon her & started following her.  And, I've always tried to find a way to express my feelings.  I'm no good at writing songs, or drawing, or really writing for that matter.  I express a lot through photography and talking. At some point I'll probably start a video blog or podcast (awesome, right!?)

I love to take pictures.  For my birthday, my grandmother bought me a Nikon D-3000. I love it but I really wish I knew how to use it.  It's a wonderful camera and great for a starter camera, but I'm so confused by all the buttons.  I'm taking my first big trip out of the country to Nicaragua to learn about teen pregnancy in the Granada area.  I'm so excited and couldn't dream of a better group to go with.  I've started taking my camera with me everywhere I go - to capture life's awesome moments.

life.is.funny.
also. in regards to the picture, I'm going to stop looking back..I'm going forward.
Life starts today.